am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
