you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
What a dumb baby whore.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Randomize
