My hand turned me down
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
