Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
