Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
