your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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