Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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