based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
