You're my little dorito
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Man, jail baloney is awful.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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