community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize