i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
