Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
