And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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