i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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