If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
