i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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