When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
