I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
