You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
