we have pet lesbian snakes
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
