I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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