You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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