would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
