She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
