its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
