Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
