she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dicks are not precious.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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