I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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