the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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