She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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