people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
