Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
