Your face is a jimmy john
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
