I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
