Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
