Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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