I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize