I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
