Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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