So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
