Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
