yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
