Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
