Dual....:-)
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize