and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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