tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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