so let's talk penis.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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