he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
