I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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