Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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