How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
