with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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