Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
