On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i would punch a child for taco bell
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
