Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
