You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
