There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
