We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
