she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
