I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
