saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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