So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize