Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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