Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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