do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize