i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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